Leaving Behind 2009

What have I learned this year?  So, so much.  One thing I have learned is that I am a total copycat.  Today, I'm stealing an idea from Kearsie.  Thanks, Kears, from your unimaginative and thieving friend.  Love ya!

In January, I learned that I am a witch-with-a-B.  Well, at least I was then.  Hopefully I've improved.  I just asked The Husband if I've changed since then and he said, "In what area?"  He said he was just kidding -- yes, I've improved.  I'm going to keep working on it, too, with a little help.

I learned in February that I had an addiction.  The addiction has only gotten worse since moving into the house.  I will not try to quit this though.  In fact, I hope it gets worse.  No 12-step program for me, thanks.  Because, "In our home, love is never having to say, 'Babe, I’m almost out of shorts.'"

The month of March came along, and it brought a post that sent the most people to my blog than any other.  All because I wrote about bras.  Seriously, if you want to get some attention, WRITE. ABOUT. BRAS.  But really, my post was supposed to be helpful and informative.  Or supportive and uplifting.  HA!

In April, I learned that 9-year-olds can appreciate fine music, and kick butt playing it.  (That's not a link to my post, rather a link to the video of the coolest kids ever.)

In May, I got in touch with my mushy mommy side, and learned that life has been much better A.D. than it was B.C.  (And if you think you know what those stand for, you might want to click the link.)

I took a break from learning in June, and did some schooling on the ins and outs of living in Florida.  Did you move to Florida from somewhere else?  Click the link, that post is for you.  And you get a two-for-one with this, because in June I also taught guys why they might want to dress up once in a while.

July came, and I learned that it's quite therapeutic to write random letters to random people that you come across throughout the day.  I think I need to to it more.  Sort of like... Dear Dad Dude I Saw at Sea World, A fluorescent green polo shirt with a popped collar?  Seriously?  And sneakers with fluorescent green highlights?  See?  That's fun!  (FYI, I just learned that I know how to spell therapeutic, because Google told me that was the right way.)

In August I learned that it is, in fact, safe to look.  And looking at that post made me really excited about Lost starting again.  WOO-HOO!

I learned in September that I should write my blog post before I read others, because if Kearsie does something, I'll do it too.  Clearly, I did not apply that knowledge today.

Nike taught me a lesson in October.  Well, God taught me a lesson, but He let Nike help.

In November, I learned a lot about bingo arms and how to get rid of them.  All because Kim suggested arm flab as a blog topic for me.  I also learned that Facebook is out to get me, because it showed me an ad for these right around the same time.  How rude.

And in December, we all learned about Tiger Woods, and I did my part to school the celebrities on how to properly have an affair.  Happy to help.

And that, my friends, was 2009.  I'm ready to begin 2010!  That rhymes.  As does, I'm ready to ring in 2010.  Is it ring or bring, though?  Oh well, whichever it is, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Where was this guy when I was single?

I have admitted that I was drawn into VH1's Rock of Love.  I also think I mentioned that I was horribly sick or on painkillers both times I allowed myself to watch episode after episode of it, but whatever.  I always felt like I needed a shower after I watched it, though, so I figured I could probably find a better use of my time.

VH1 managed to fill the void, and I may or may not have stayed up until 3 a.m. watching episode after episode of VH1's second season of Tough Love. 

Where, oh where, was someone like Steve Ward when I was single?  Someone to give me a clever nickname and pinpoint my particular disastrous dating type?  It probably would have saved me a whole lot of time, and my parents a whole lot of money as they would have only had to have paid for one wedding.

This show obviously has its share of trash and potty mouths.  C'mon, it's on VH1.  But if you can filter through all of that, this guy is pretty dead on telling the women what they need to hear.  Not only that, but he lets the women get a lot of feedback from men -- men they like, and random guys he just brings in for their opinions.

Forget The Bachelor, this is the show I would've wanted to have gone on.

It is so sad how much of my single self I see in the women on Tough Love sometimes.  Not these girls...

But some of the other ones.  Like Liz, who at the beginning of Season Two said, at 24, she felt like she was "running out of time."  I think she even said being 24 and single was depressing or pathetic or something.

Pssst!  Hey Liz, you wanna know what's worse?  Being 24 and divorced because you were so dead set on getting married, you ended up with the wrongest guy you possibly could have.  That is depressing or pathetic or something, 'kay?

I wish I knew why I find these shows so fascinating.  Maybe there will one day be a reality show for reality show addictions.  Maybe Reality TV Rehab with Dr. Drew, only it's led by Drew Carey?  Maybe there's a 12-step program I can find.

Until that day, I'll probably be on my couch in my new Snuggie watching this show on Sundays at 9 pm.  Or DVRing it, because Sundays at 9 pm seems like a good time to celebrate not being single with The Husband...

Note to Self: Merry Christmas Edition

• You could go to sleep right now, and not wake up until tomorrow.
• You could go to sleep right now, and not wake up until 2010.
• You still have one more Christmas visit, and then the season is over.
• Except for the returns and exchanges.
• It was really awesome to wake up and have the girls run out to the Christmas tree in your own home.
• It was really awesome to get a Snuggie for Christmas, too.
• It was really awesome that God sent you His only Son.

 

Merry Christmas!

Free Movie Day!

Today I have a special shout out to my Central Florida friends, especially those with kids who are out of school and who are looking for something to do with those kids over the break!

A kind soul at Lionsgate got in touch with me to clue me in that there's a way for you, dear readers, to check out a free advance screening of The Spy Next Door!  The screening is next Tuesday, December 29th at 7:00 pm at Regal Winter Park (510 N. Orlando Avenue, Winter Park, FL 32789, 407-628-0163).  The kind soul also recommended arriving early, around 6:00, to ensure getting a seat.  (We're not the only ones who know about these free passes, people!)

All you have to do is go to this link and enter code H1KMYS.  Easy peasy!

The Spy Next Door opens everywhere on January 15th, and stars Jackie Chan, Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez.  I looked it up at imdb.com and saw that Magnús Scheving is also in it.  Don't recognize that name?  If you have preschoolers, you probably know him better as "Sportacus" in Nick Jr.'s LazyTown.  I wonder if he and Jackie Chan have any fight scenes... You know, Jackie Chan doing his thing and Sportacus trying to beat him with aerobics!  Or maybe by throwing sports candy!

If you see it, let me know what you think!

The Happy Holiday Headache

I get confused easily.  (Shocking, I know!)  Christmas, allegedly a time of joy and cheer, sometimes hurts my brain.  Last year or the year before, I was a little stunned when I heard about the ads for "family trees" rather than Christmas trees.  I thought that was taking things a little far.  (The store went back to selling Christmas trees -- they blamed the "family tree" ads on poor proofing.)

It doesn't necessarily bother me, but it confuses (and at the same time entertains me in a way) that our church's Christmas concert incorporated Santa and his elves, while at Big Sister's school (her public school), one kindergarten class sang a song as angels.  They had wings, halos, harps, everything!  I thought that the world was out to get Christmas!  That's what I've been told!  Yet, there they were, little angels singing in a public school cafeteria.  Amazing!

Then there's a question I heard posed, and one I admit that I've pondered myself... Why do atheists celebrate Christmas?

I had to put on my thinking cap as I wondered about that.  Then I got to thinking about Christians like me celebrating Easter, with egg hunts and chocolate bunnies.  And how that's all connected to Jesus rising again.  Eddie Izzard may have been on to something in his show, Dress to Kill:

And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it? You know, people going, "Remember, kids," the kids who're eating the chocolate eggs, "Jesus died for your sins."

"Yeah, I know, it's great!”

“No, no no, it's bad, it's bad!”

“No, it's bad! It's very bad. It's terrible! Whatever you want, just keep giving me these eggs."

And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey, what, are you going to put those crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, all right?" Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It's a festival - it's the spring festival!

Sometimes it takes a Brit dressed in drag to change the way you look at something...

So to someone that doesn't believe in Christ's birth, maybe Christmas is just a holiday.  You know, a chance for a couple of days off of work.  It's also acknowledged as a time of year for peace and goodwill to man, and that's not necessarily a bad thing no matter what you believe.  And since it kind of looks like we as Christians incorporate some pagan or worldly things into our holiest celebrations, perhaps we don't have much room to talk.  Know what I mean? 

As for me and my house, Christmas is about Jesus' birth.  Well, and presents, because the girls are little.  But we're going to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus around our pagan Christmas tree, and the girls will wear red dresses with white trim because they look cute, not because there's any religious significance. 

And I'll say "Merry Christmas" to you and you can say "Happy Holidays" to me, and maybe we can smile and be merry and not wrinkle our noses at one another, because we're honestly just trying to wish each other well.  Maybe that'll work.

Note to Self: Chinchilla Edition & We Have A Winner!

• Soon, you will announce the winner to your first ever giveaway in this, your new blog home.
• Soon.
• First, you will try to stop imagining how great it would be if you were a chinchilla.
• Because you know that chinchillas take dust baths, and this week, a dust bath would've felt pretty darn good.
• All because of your aging body's negative reaction to the antibiotic you were put on for the ear infection you were too old to get.
• Remember not to take Benadryl under any circumstances.
• It will take you DOWN. 
• Your younger child will take advantage of the situation.
• She will play with all of your makeup, and ruin your eyeliner. 
• Obviously, it will be the most expensive one.
• You will also a have conversation via instant messenger telling someone of this tragedy, and you will not remember the conversation.
• Drugs is bad. 
• The Husband is good.
• He will not take advantage of the Benadryl coma.
• The Husband will even help finish making dinner, help the girls finish eating their dinner, then put all the food away and clean up the dishes.
• Your husband rocks.
• So does the winner's, apparently.
• Time to spill the beans!

Hey, LEIA!  Soon you will be able to proudly and publicly declare that your husband of 23 1/2 years ROCKS!  It is so encouraging to hear from someone who has been married for that long who is still that excited about their spouse!  Thank you for your entry, and congratulations!  Contact me soon with your shipping info, which of the two t-shirts you want (chocolate or pink, ladies cut or fitted), the size, and Union28 will do the rest!  I hope to hear from you very soon, and I also hope you'll stop by my blog again!

For those of you who didn't win, remember that the discount code is in effect until December 22nd!  Use U28MMTM15 on your order of 2 or more items and receive a 15% discount!

Have a great weekend!

My Christmas Confession

I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet.

There.  I said it.

If you go here and here, you can read more comforting posts about people who have had more success in their holiday shopping.  One of the main reasons that they have had more success is that they actually went out and did it.

The Husband and I did go out and go shopping, but it was for our "adopted" family.  Every year, our Sunday school class adopts a family that could use a little help with Christmas gifts, and last night we went with some friends to buy the presents.  We love doing that!  First of all, it's for a great cause, and secondly, we're using other people's money!  Well, and some of ours too, but again, great cause and all.

When it comes to our own Christmas shopping, every year we go through the same thing.  We always wait until the last minute -- and I don't have any idea why.  It's not even like we have that many people to buy for, because we pretty much only buy for family.  Right now, The Husband is still trying to figure out what to get for his dad.  He knows what he wants to get for his mom, but I'm not sure if he's going to be able to find it.  My mom is blissfully simple.  My dad's gift has been ready for a while.  We have Big Sister's individual gift, the joint gift for the girls, and the jury is still out for Li'l Bit and what she's going to get.

Then there's Grandma, an aunt, our sisters and their families (who are both out-of-state and require gifts to be shipped), and each other. 

Every year, I say the next year is going to be different.  Every year!  Every year I say we're going to buy a couple of people something each month and be done by, like, June.  Every year I say I'm going to just do everything online.  EVERYTHING, I tell you!

But here I sit, eight days until Christmas Eve when we open gifts with The Husband's family, with a mere three gifts purchased.  Four, if you count the gift The Husband got for me already.  (The gift that Big Sister couldn't resist telling me about.)  And actually, of the gifts we have, none of them are for the people we'll be seeing on Christmas Eve.  Niiiiice!

Next year.  Yes, next year will be different.  Next year I will be done before Thanksgiving.  Or maybe by Thanksgiving.  Or the weekend of Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving will be a part of the deal, that's for sure.

What's your Christmas shopping secret?  SPILL IT!  Don't you think I could use the help?!

Pretty in Pink

I can feel the diplomatic processes beginning to break down.

Horton, as voiced by Jim Carrey, uttered those words in Horton Hears A Who.  (I thought he sounded a little like Stallone when he said that, anyone else?)  He was under attack at the time, with bananas raining down on him from those monkeys.

I feel like that.  Not so much like bananas are being hurled at me, but that things are breaking down.  And I look like Pinkalicious.

Why?  Because I had an ear infection, and I took antibiotics, and apparently my body has decided that those antibiotics don't agree with me anymore.  I took the last pill on Tuesday, and then spent the weekend starving a fever that kept coming and going, and today I watched myself slowly but surely turning pink.

Then I took Benadryl to help with the allergic reaction, and that sent me into a slightly comatose state.

I mentioned some of this on Facebook today, and someone said something that sent fear into my heart...

Everything seems to change as we get older.

It couldn't be... Could it?!  Is this all happening because I'm getting older?  I mean, I know I'm going to be *cough*thirty-four*cough* in two months, and although I may joke about my age from time to time (like celebrating the anniversary of my 29th birthday every year...), mostly I'm okay with it!  I mean, everyone gets older.  Everyone.  It's a fact of life!  You take the good, you take the bad... Oops, sorry.

Anyway.  I'm going to get older.  You're going to get older.  (I'm not going down alone, sorry.)  I have been choosing to take better care of myself.  I even ate broccoli on Sunday.  BROCCOLI!  I've been going to bed earlier.  I've been exercising.

So today when it hit me that maybe my body in many ways is just going to keep going downhill, I will admit I had a moment like this:

But really, I do know I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.  And I am pretty happy with what God gave me.  I won't lie, I wouldn't mind my face not crinkling so much above and around my eyes, and I wouldn't mind if my tummy hadn't decided to stretch out beyond recognition to hold my babies -- but all in all, I'm content with what's here.

And we all should be, especially if we're doing the best we can to take care of what we've been given.

Even if it's temporarily pink.

Note to Self: Housewarming Edition!!

This giveaway is now closed.

• It's your first giveaway in your new blog home!
• You are so excited!
• You can't stop using exclamation points!
• You're going to have to stop this list to move on to the actual giveaway!
• Soon!
  
  
  
  Okay, we interrupt this Note to Self to offer you, the readers, a little housewarming gift! Union28 is kindly offering one of their incredible t-shirts for this, and I offer huge thanks to them for collaborating with me again! Check out what you can win!
  
  
  

The classic "My Husband Rocks" t-shirt in pink or chocolate brown, ladies cut or fitted!

Guess what else they're doing? From December 11th through December 22nd, if you purchase 2 or more items, enter code U28MMTM15 and receive 15% off your order!

How do you win? Easy peasy lemon squeezy! Comment away!

• Mandatory for one entry: Go to www.union28.net and check out their stuff, and tell me what your favorite is! (Right now, I am hoping that The Husband has seen this one. I know you thought I was going to say this, but you were wrong! Ha!) And if you want to tell me why your husband rocks, I would so love to hear about that!
  
• Want an extra entry? Tweet it! (Yes, I tweet. Sometimes. Maybe more now that I'm admitting it.) If you tweet this giveaway, comment with your Twitter thing so I can see it, and voila! One more entry!
  
• Want another one? Follow me! Click the little Google Friend Connect thing to follow me, and tell me you did so!
  
• And finally, if you blog about this giveaway, come on back and link me to your blog and let me know!
  

The contest is open until Thursday, December 17th, so start your commenting! I will use the random number generator to choose a winner and will announce it here next Friday, December 18th -- if you want an e-mail notifying you, don't forget to leave me your address! (I don't read minds! Really!) Then I'll get your mailing address, and Union28 will send the spoils!

I'm so excited about this! I have two of these t-shirts and I love to wear them! Go check them out! Try to win one! Spread the news! Soon I'll stop using exclamation points!

Have a great weekend!

Who left the door open?!

It's my second day here, and already someone left the door wide open, and now there are chickens wandering around! Zombie chickens at that!

Okay, really, Kim gave me that award, because she says if the world were under attack by zombie chickens, she would still try to read my blog. Among others. I actually think instead of reading blogs, she should try to capture the attack in pictures. Because I think if she did, then we'd have a blog to read like this, and I would spend a lot of time giggling in between stomping some zombie chicken face.

So Kim mentioned some other blogs that she loves to read, including two of my personal favorites, Sounds Like Tomatoes (who also just moved into this 'hood, and she was going to move first, and I didn't want to be left alone in the old place) and WendiWinn. So I headed on over to a couple of the other blogs she mentioned. To be honest, I was looking for blogs to follow, because I'm seriously loving the Google Friend Connect thing.

But I wandered over to Speaking From The Crib and Hey Lola -- and now I have two more blogs that will assist me in burning off 4.4 pounds a year. (Because that's what happens if you laugh 10-15 minutes a day. And wearing earrings makes you look 10 pounds lighter. True story.) I wonder if there's a limit on how many blogs Google Reader lets you put in...

Many thanks to Kim for bestowing me with such a prestigious honor -- it's kind of like a little housewarming gift! And I don't know how she's had time to make it to 200 posts, considering she and WendiWinn spent so much time helping me move here. And holding my hand through it all, because I fear change about as much as they fear my talking about sex on my blog.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Peek-A-Boo!

Well, hi there! Come on in, make yourself at home! What do you think of the new digs?

I like it. I'm told this is a very nice neighborhood.

So sit down, kick off your shoes! Get comfy! This is where we'll sit and chat now! I promise we'll talk about all the same sort of things! And I'm sure we'll do our share of reminiscing.

Like, remember that time I got nightmares from a toy in a kid's meal? Or when we talked about good bras and scary bras? Or how we were talking about our favorite things, and you got all uncomfortable?

Yeah, that's still going to happen.

Feel free to stop by anytime! Or follow me, and don't forget to update your reader! Be on the lookout for a house warming party!