Dear Vanessa Circa 1986

Well, my birthday is next week.  I've seen this done a couple of times (recently, actually, because clearly many fabulous people were born in February), so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon.  Oh, to be able and go back and talk to Little Vanessa...

Dear Vanessa Circa 1986,

Hey there, it's me.  Actually, it's you.  I'm you at 33, almost 34.  I know, you think that's old.  You'll just have to trust me, it's not.  Seriously. 

Okay, whatever.  I'm old.  Let it go.

I just wanted to drop you a line and give you some tips for your future, 'kay?  I think you could use a little help.  Why don't you sit down and get comfortable, and let me school you on a little thing I like to call life.

I'm going to be blunt here.  You're a nerd.  I know you know that deep down inside, but you just need to own it.  Try to change your perspective, though.  You're not just a nerd, you're a bad-A-double-dollar-sign intellectual.  Life will be easier if you just accept it and not try to dumb yourself down.  The people you're trying to impress, boys and girls alike, aren't worth it.  You'll feel much better about yourself in the long run if you just keep applying yourself.

I know, I know.  I sound like our mom.  As it turns out, she's a freaking genius and she is always right.  Remember that, too.

Also.  Not that it's a big deal or anything, but we're kind of cute.  You can be cute and smart.  And funny sometimes, too.  Triple threat.

Now, as for boys.  For the next ten years or so, they're just BOYS and not as great as you seem to think they are.  You'll meet some decent ones in high school, but for the most part you'd be better off figuring out what you want to be when you grow up instead of imagining what your husband's going to be like.  Focus on school.  Finish college.  Get a job.  You know how you thought it was so cool that Barbie could be anything she wanted?  You can too.  (P.S. Barbie dumps Ken.)

And FYI, that little sister of yours?  Believe it or not, she's going to have amazingly accurate Butthead Radar.  If she says a guy is a creep, the guy is a creep.  Get rid of him, and get rid of him fast. 

And I know this is going to come as a shock, but that little sister of yours is going to be one of your very best friends. 

Let's see... Anything else... Oh, when you make it to the county spelling bee in 7th grade, ask for the word in a sentence.  Otherwise, you go out in the first round.  Ask for the word in a sentence.

I think that about covers it. 

I actually need to get going, because I know I need to write Vanessa Circa 1996.  I have a feeling that's going to be a much, much longer letter. 

Love your family.  Do well in school. Treasure your friends and let go of those that don't treasure you.  Try a couple of vegetables now and then.  Don't forget to thank your gifted teacher for bringing you to church.

Be good.

Love,

Vanessa Circa 2010