Pouring My Heart Out

I'm going to say thanks to Shell for giving me a reason to... Well, pour my heart out.  Because, thanks to her, everybody's doing it.

I can't promise this entire thing will be without humor or sarcasm or even snark, though, because it's just not in my genes to take anything completely seriously.  But I might surprise you.  And myself, for that matter.

Anyway.

I'm fairly certain that there are  people that believe I walk around with a ray of sunshine floating over my head.  Those people might be right.  I lead a blessed (or charmed, if you prefer) life.  I have a truly amazing husband, two beautiful and bright little girls, my family beyond my home is largely functional, and I have incredible friends.

As the saying goes, I'm just too blessed to be depressed.

Except sometimes I get depressed.

I feel like a complete and total loser when minor disappointments get me down in a major way.  Last week I had to cancel an appointment at the last minute because the timing just wasn't going to work out, and I broke down sobbing in my car.  Not sniffling, not a few delicate tears trickling down my cheek.  Sobbing.  Over a missed appointment. 

Appointments can be rescheduled.

There are times I feel like I handle the big things with ease.  It's the little things that trip me up.  With the big things, it's easy for me to remember that God has my back.  For some reason that I can't quite understand, I find it necessary to keep the little things to myself.  The daily frustrations that can add up and up and up until you're about to explode (which I've been known to do)...

God cares about those little things.

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

Do you know what the key word in there is for me?

ALL.

He cares when I'm upset because I missed an appointment.  He cares when I made an effort in the kitchen and the girls won't touch what's on their plates.  He cares when I feel like I'm the sorriest excuse of a wife and mommy and daughter and sister and friend and Christian.

He cares about all of those things and He cares about all of me.

Every nook and cranny, every part of me that I keep tucked away, He knows.  He cares.  And He loves.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "pray continually" -- and I always thought that sounded like a challenge.  Now when I read it, I see it more as an invitation.

He wants me to sit and talk with Him, He wants to hear about every little thing that's going on, and He wants me to listen to Him and He wants to help me.  Just bringing those little things to Him, it keeps the lines of communication open.

And I think that's what He wants. 

I know it's what I want.