Everyone knows Max and Ruby, but not everyone knows Max and Ruby's parents.
Until now, they have silently endured the constant barrage of questions about their parenting skills. Until now, they have left "WHERE THE &%@! ARE MAX AND RUBY'S PARENTS?!" alone.
Mom's whiskers tremble as she sniffs, "I've been called neglectful. Neglectful! I do not neglect my children!"
"We're bunnies," Dad interjects. "What do people think we're doing off-camera? But it's children's programming, for Peter Rabbit's sake! They can't show that!"
Mom places her paw over Dad's to calm him.
"It's just difficult, you know?" Mom says softly. "I mean, we are rabbits, and we only have two children. All of our friends and family have 4 to 12 little bunnies at a time, and we have just our little ones."
"And that's not to say that we don't love them!" Dad adds.
"Of course! We adore Max and Ruby... Ruby and Max. You just... You have no idea what it's like to be the only members of the Leporidae family that can't reproduce like everyone else..."
Dad shakes his head and puts his arm around his wife. "We're not the only ones," he says.
"No," Mom shrugs, "but ours is the only family with it made obvious for the whole world to see day after day after day on television."
Which begs the question: Why? Why allow Max and Ruby to be showcased on their own television show if it would bring such scrutiny on their family?
"It's simple, really," Dad states. "Grandma can only watch the kids so often. The Huffingtons are busy with their own brood. I mean, you only see Baby Huffington on the show, but they've got a whole litter in there. Anyway, we just don't want to give up, and having the kids on the show means constant supervision. Which gives us more time to..."
"The cameras are on them all the time," Mom smiles as she interrupts. "We never miss a moment, really. And Ruby's so great with Max."
When asked about the suggestion that Ruby is actually a little bossy with Max, Mom's fur bristles.
"She's had a lot of responsibility put on her at an early age, and we realize that. I wouldn't call her bossy, though. She's a natural leader."
When the subject of Max's penchant for making mischief comes up, it's Dad who speaks up, his tail twitching roughly.
"These kids don't have it easy, you know," he says, pointing his paw. "Their family isn't like the other bunnies', and they get teased. Sure, they have their friends, but the Bunny Scouts aren't the only ones at school. Not every family is as non-judgmental as Valerie's or Louise's."
"Even Mr. Piazza wants Roger to keep his distance from Ruby!" Mom exclaims before dissolving into tears. Through her sobs, she explains, "He's afraid if they wound up together, Ruby wouldn't be able to procreate like the other does!"
Dad comforts Mom and waves off an offer of carrot juice.
"No, thank you," he says. "I think we just need to go."
And with that, Max and Ruby's parents hop along, hoping that their side of the story will be heard and understood.