I think it was on Speaking From The Crib that my favorite scene from Goodfellas was recently mentioned. Karen Hill tells her husband, Henry, that she needs some money, and when he asks how much, she basically holds her fingers apart to indicate her response -- and she's not indicating she just needs a little bit, she's indicating the size of the stack she needs.
Well, okay, so the money is completely and totally dirty and she now has blood on her hands and all that, but still... That would be like a dream come true for me, if only The Husband could legally (you know, without killing people by stabbing them in their neck repeatedly with a pen -- and I know that wasn't Henry Hill doing that, but man that part stands out) make so much money that I could ask for it like that.
(That pen part was so gross.)
So I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I have a sweet deal, and I know it. For the most part, I can't complain. (That doesn't mean I don't complain. My friends know this. Sorry, ladies, and thanks for listening.) Anyway, I stay at home, and currently I do not do anything to bring money in to our household.
I know, I know, what I do is invaluable -- blah, blah, blah. I get it. And I'm happy doing it.
At the same time, I would like to buy my girls kids' meals once in a while without being wracked with guilt.
And I know a lot of SAHMs are in the same boat as I am.
But I want to form a very special kind of support group. For women whose husbands majored in Finance. Or Accounting. Anything where they work with numbers and/or money and they monitor the checkbook and credit card balance with the white hot intensity of a thousand burning suns.
The Husband is incredibly awesome with money. He is pretty much a genius with all things financial. I find great peace in that.
However. (You knew it was coming.) I would also like to be able to go to the store when my older daughter's dresses are so short that she looks like she could be in a Hannah Montana video (I've never seen one, actually, but I saw her performance on DWTS, so I'm assuming that she's going the skank route now) to buy her some new dresses without having to ask, or without having to explain that getting 4 brand new dresses for under $22 is a really great deal, and on top of that, these dresses are going to be worn again by our younger daughter, so I'm doing pretty dang well.
I can't remember the last time I paid full price for anything, or when I've purchased something that wasn't on a rack that didn't have a HOWEVER-MUCH-PERCENT-OFF or a CLEARANCE sign above it. I shop for myself and the girls at Kohl's and Target. I get our shoes at Payless.
I do not mind shopping like that. I don't think I would change how I shop even if I had unlimited funds.
I just wish that I could get some credit for being a smart shopper. And I don't mean credit like credit credit, like Visa or MasterCard, I just mean for The Husband to not hyperventilate when I come home with a shopping bag -- which really isn't all that often.
Even when I did earn my own money, he took a lot of interest in it. And I don't mean interest like interest interest, like 8.250%, I just mean The Husband always wanted to know how much I made. I was in direct sales, and he didn't ask me how the show/party went, if I had fun, he mostly just wanted to know about the bottom line.
(To be fair, I think he's just wired like that. I mean, being that way makes him very good at what he does.)
And when I do manage to earn some "fun money" for myself, I would like for The Husband to not ask how much I spent or what I spent it on. Because I do not ask him how much his golf shoes cost. I do not ask him how much it costs him when he goes to play 9 or 18 holes.
And if he thinks that he needs a new pump for his fish tank, I take him at his word. If he says the cleats he wears for softball are falling apart, I believe him. I mean, he would know best.
Just like I would know best if the girls' toes are poking through the tops of their shoes or hanging over the edge of their sandals, if their shorts are too short, if they need haircuts. Or if I need new shoes -- because, believe it or not, I don't buy shoes on a whim. Or if, God forbid, I need a haircut. (Just wait until I need to get it colored!)
But also, sometimes I'd like to take the girls out for a treat now and then. And I can't help but notice... When he takes the girls out (which he does, often, because he's an amazing father), he doesn't have to call me and ask if it's okay if he swings by Wendy's with them. He doesn't call and ask if I think it's okay to buy them a movie.
I have asked for an "allowance" of sorts, but I'd kind of like it to come with no strings attached -- if I'm given money to do with what I please, I would like to do just that without being asked where each nickel and penny went. Is that too much to ask? Between his natural inclination to be so into money and its comings and goings, and it technically being his money, should I just let it go that I feel like I need to provide a spreadsheet with how much I want to spend and when? Will I ever really feel comfortable spending money, am I always going to feel like it's someone else's?
"I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void." (<--- That's a line from one of my favoritest movies, which I want to buy on DVD because I only have it on VHS, but I always feel like that would be wasteful spending.)