Friday, February 26, 2010

Note to Self: Pretty Feet Edition

  • Be 110% certain of who you are sending a text to before you send it.
  • 120%.
  • Because an innocent text sent to the babysitter asking about her availability could possibly appear not-so-innocent when received by the husband of a friend.
  • Also, even though you hit END before the screen says SENT, it still gets sent.
  • Be really thankful for friends that find the humor in this.
  • Really, really thankful.
  • Be 110% certain that the alarm is turned off before you open the front door to let the dog out.
  • 120%.
  • Because that alarm is FREAKING LOUD.
  • Loud enough to startle people into peeing their pants just a little.
  • And by "people" you mean the 3-year-old little person.
  • Say that often enough, you just might start to believe it.
  • Thankfully The Husband is back to let the dog out.
  • Thankfully that means you can sleep in the bed again.
  • The bed just isn't as fun with him gone.
  • Also, your bedroom feels about 20 degrees colder than the rest of the house.
  • When The Husband is gone, there is no one to warm up the bed before you get in it.
  • And the TV keeps you company when you're on the couch.
  • And you can stare at your Pretty Feet.
Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

3 Things Thursday: Why Blog?

I was JUST talking to a fellow blogger about how I feel a little weird blogging about blogging, then I went to Elizabeth's blog to check on what the topic for Top 3 Thursday was gonna be.  And the topic is...
Oh, Bloggy Universe, you do have a sense of humor!
So.  Why do I blog?
1.)  People told me I should.  Post-Sanjaya and Pre-Adam Lambert, I blogged about American Idol through MySpace.  It was in my safe little private bubble, because whenever I went to AI forums there was a lot of hatin' going on in the comments, and I didn't want to get into all of that.  So I just started writing about it and it was fun and people sometimes said it was good, and so I decided to keep writing about other random things.  I never thought it would lead me to telling the (blog) world about the time it happened to me, but oh well.
2.)  It is a wonderful creative outlet.  I like to sing, but I haven't felt auditioning for the praise team at church is what I need to be doing, and who knows if I'd even make it again.  I love love love drama (as in acting, not real life drama), but there isn't a drama team right now.  Enter writing.  Enter making some good use out of that side of my brain.
3.)  It's mine, all mine.  It would be incredibly awesome to get paid to write, but with a blog like this one, I set my own schedule, and I shouldn't get stressed about it.  And whether I write about something profound (has that happened yet?) or something ridiculous, it doesn't really matter.  Because it's mine, all mine!!!
And one of the greatest byproducts of blogging has been "meeting" some incredibly cool people.  I mean, go check out my blog roll.  There are some incredibly hilarious and genius women writing all over the place!
What about you?  Why do you blog?  Spill it on your blog, then link up with Confessions From A Working Mom and The (Un)Experienced Mom!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

This post is brought to you by The Estrogen Monster.

Look, I don't know what that image has to do with estrogen, but when I did a search on Google Images for estrogen, that's what came up.  Actually, my first search was estrogen monster, just to see what would pop up, but that just left me wondering what SafeSearch actually considered safe.  And now I have typed the word estrogen four times (I counted the last time I typed estrogen... so now five times), any readers who are of the male persuasion should be sufficiently terrified and probably have stopped reading by now.  If not, may God have mercy on your soul.

This is going to be the most random post ever.  From me, anyway.  I am super stressed about nothing in particular, so it is my right as a woman to blame it on hormones.  I have had the Mirena thing since Li'l Bit was a few months old, and my cycles have been all wonky since then... Scratch that.  My cycles have always, always been wonky, but this is a new kind of wonky because I go without a cycle for months at a time.  I know, you hate me a little for that.  That's fine.  Because right now, I don't care.  Frankly, I miss having PMS so I can blame stuff on it.  But actually, I think I still have all the hormonal crap without the actual period, so I don't know.  I'm banking on hormones for this mood in particular, though.

I am so talking to Eve when I get to heaven.

I don't want to blog about blogging, but I'm gonna just for a second.  You see, I was unplugged for almost two days.  (Is that the right way to say it?  Or was I supposed to say I went unplugged?  You know what?  I don't care.)  So when I went to my precious Google Reader, there were over 100 posts to read.  And I love to comment.  Yes, you read that correctly, I love to comment.  Not just get comments, but to give.  But knowing that there was not a chance that I was going to be able to comment on all the posts, I mostly just read.  And laughed.  And... skimmed.  Now, I know this really isn't a big deal, and most of you are sitting there saying, "It's just blogging," but it's my thing.  (And I thought about typing thang, but I don't know if that means something inappropriate and I've already talked about estrogen and my menstrual cycle, so I think I've reached my inappropriate quota.)  So anyway, I felt like a bad blogger.  Like, if your hobby is photography and you did a photo shoot with one of these:

Moving on.  In other randomness, I was so hoping the ladies' night out I went to would generate a post.  Alas, it was quite a delightful evening, and I didn't see anyone get drunk off their face, there weren't any catfights (although a couple of bidding wars did break out during the live auction), and I didn't do anything to humiliate myself.  I did have fun, though, and I'm really glad I went.  (No, I didn't dance like Elaine.  I didn't dance at all.  Baby steps, my friends.)

Oh.  Remember how I was all concerned about meeting neighbors?  Remember?  I was going to make cookies for them?  Well, I made cookies, but I chickened out on delivering them to my neighbors.  Instead, I put the cookies in little baggies with "Thanks for freezing to keep us safe!" on them and gave them to the folks who stand outside and direct car loop traffic at Big Sister's school.  I feel I made a good choice.

Remember how I won three blog giveaways?  You don't?  I don't care.  It turned into four.  I won a Jenny Bunny bracelet at lemon drop studio's blog.  Also, at the ladies' night out, I won a basket with some stuff.  And, I also won this:

That's right.  You can see my genius caption here, it is accompanying a picture from

Does it stop there?  Why no, it does not!  Kim gave me this fancy schmancy award.  And you know what?  She gave it to me even though I cause her to use excessive exclamation points because I won't watch The Office.  It used to be that I just didn't want to add another show to my personal line-up, now it's just kind of fun.  So what blog do I feel, using Kim's description, dazzles the reader as their posts come alive with hysterical or thought-provoking words, images or ideas?  I can think of no one more deserving than Shell at Things I Can't Say.  Especially since she just had her first dance contest.  And especially since Nintendo needs to give her a copy of Just Dance for the next time she has one.

The Toy Box Years gave me a Beautiful Blogger (can I do that? like stars say they got "an Oscar" instead of always saying "an Academy award?), so I extend a big old THANK YOU to her.  With this award you're supposed to tell 7 things about yourself that people may not know, but considering a) I have already mentioned that I may be PMSing, and b) dude, this post, I think I'm covered... But I'm going to pass this along to my new friends The Honey B. Blog and Life's Recipe, and I'm also tossing this over to Leigh vs. Laundry because I love her 28 Days of Happiness.  That is beautiful.

So that's all, folks.  Peace out, Girl Scout.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Note to Self: Ladies Night Out Edition

  • You have a ladies' night out tonight.
  • It is your first ladies' night out that isn't with your peeps.
  • You talking about your "peeps" is almost as funny as you saying "Don't even front."
  • This ladies night out is a fundraiser for Big Sister's school.
  • You are helping.
  • Helping may distract from the fact that you don't really know anyone.
  • Helping may distract from your ever-present concern that you aren't wearing the right clothes.
  • Or shoes.
  • Or that you don't have the right accessories.
  • Keep in mind that you did just turn 34.
  • It is quite possible you are way too old to have these ever-present concerns.
  • In other words, you need to build a bridge and get over it.
  • Seriously.
  • Go out.
  • Have fun.
  • Make new friends.
  • Or at least make new friendly acquaintances.
  • Maybe even... possibly... dance.
  • You don't dance.
  • You're oh so white and oh so Baptist.
  • However, you do a mean White Girl Two Step.
  • Let's get it started.

Happy Friday!  I hope you dance!

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Look at me, all linking up now!  Confessions From a Working Mom and The (Un)Experienced Mom have started Top Three Thursdays, and I am joining in!  What great timing, too, because this week's question is:
What are your Top 3 favorite TV shows?
Since much of my TV time is spent with the crews from Playhouse Disney and Nick Jr., it should be kind of easy to pick 3 shows that I actually get to watch...
1.  Friends.  Yeah, I know it's older and only on in reruns, but I LOVE it.  I will watch any episode any time I am able to catch it on.  I love the characters and their dynamics and the humor.  I also love the memories I have of watching it with friends on Thursday nights.  And I love how you can make a Friends reference in almost any conversation, and most of the people you're talking to will totally get it.  The show is a universal bonding tool.
2.  Tough LoveI have already said I think that Steve Ward is one smart cookie, and I so wish he'd been around when I was single.  Of course, I probably would've just giggled at his accent and developed a crush on him.  Anyway, I love this show.  I love it because while there are some seemingly hopeless cases (who wants to bet if Taylor's going to be back next season??), there are also those that seem to benefit from their experience -- beyond getting their 15 minutes of fame.  Even if they walk away without a match, if they're walking away with better self-esteem and a better idea of how men think, they're a zillion times better off than when they started!
3. Lost.  Oh, for the love of Lost.  The Husband and I didn't watch the first season, but of course we heard about it.  Then Season 2 rolled around and I walked through the living room and he was watching.  He was transfixed.  I rolled my eyes as I walked by, but then I stopped to ask one question about something I saw.  Then another.  Then I watched.  Then we borrowed Season 1 from a friend to catch up and we haven't missed an episode since.
Oh, the characters!  The twists!  Are we in the future?  The past?  A parallel universe?  What the crap is going on?!  I love the intricate plots and the way they take characters from you and then give them back in a way you're not expecting and ohmygoshwhoamIkidding...
From the moment he opened his mouth and that accent rolled out just as smooth as his tanned and toned bare chest, there was no turning back.  He's a bad boy who likes a good book, he's shown he's got heart, and did I mention he looks pretty good with his shirt off?*  Yes?  Okay.
So yeah.  There you have it.  My Top 3 favorite TV shows.  Yeah.  That's what I was supposed to be writing about...
* It's okay.  It's safe to look.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I'm not a pony, I don't eat rainbows, and I don't... Well, you know.

"In my world, everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies."

Katie, Horton Hears A Who

Well, this has been a pretty good week so far. I feel like I'm living quite the charmed life, what with my brand new Wii Fit Plus (yes, The Husband did in fact read this post, he did search all over creation for one, and then just when he was about to give up, he did happen to try Walmart just one more time, and they did cut open a brand new box of them for him), and the fact that I have won three, yes THREE, giveaways in the past week.

I won the metal heart keychain (from thanks to Milk and Cuddles, and I was even able to get it engraved! My feet are soon going to be super cute and cozy around my house thanks to Amber at What the french, toast? -- and you can get your own at her Etsy shop. And last but not least, I managed to score some bling from *b*!

So life's been pretty good. And I'm sure you're thinking that I walk around with the wind at my back and the sun on my face, but I just wanted to assure you that I face my fair share of hardships. Well... I mean, yeah, there were the major upsets, but also your regular, run of the mill, really average stuff.

It was a totally average day. I had dropped off Li'l Bit at a friend's while I went to the dentist, where I had a perfectly average appointment. I noticed a little rumbling in my tummy, but I didn't think anything of it. I arrived back at my friend's house, collected the kiddo, and went out to strap her in to her car seat. Then my tummy rumbled again, only this time I thought a lot of it.

Because it happened.

Don't ask, "What happened?" You know what. IT. IT happened. And I had no idea what to do. I was standing next to the car, in the driveway at my friend's house, and I had a choice to make. I could a) go home, but that meant driving home in it. Although, I thought, there was probably some way I could utilize one of Li'l Bit's diapers... Or b) I could go back up to my friend's house and tell her about it. And ask to use her bathroom. And her shower. And for a change of clothes. And to forever change the way she looked at me, because this was a level of friendship that we had not. yet. reached.

Then my tummy rumbled again and I realized it was going to happen again, and time was short. In fact, time was so short that I walked ran waddled back up to my friend's front door and pounded hard enough to make my knuckles bleed knocked politely. She opened the door and I gathered every bit of dignity that I could to greet her with, "I have a little emergency. Could I use your bathroom?" Without asking why, she let me right in and brought Li'l Bit back inside with her.

I was in the bathroom with it faster than you could say, "Pepto Bismol." I turned on the water in the tub to wash... Well, everything. And I waited for it to stop happening.

And then I called out from the bathroom to ask my friend if she had a plastic bag. And a pair of pants I could borrow. And a pair of panties I could keep.

And then it was over. At least it was over long enough for me to get home, arrange for someone to pick Big Sister up from school, and call The Husband to request his presence at home. Later, I found out it had happened to a few other friends, and it was because of something that we'd all eaten the morning before.

Although.  None of my other friends were standing in someone else's driveway the first time it happened.

So, see, life isn't always a bowl of cherries. Sometimes it's a bowl of something else altogether.

Because it happens, my friends.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

They say it's my birthday! It's Ice-T's birthday too, yeah!

That's right, it's Ice-T's birthday.  It's also mine.  I'm 34-years-old, which means I'm in my mid-thirties.

I really thought I'd feel like a grown up by now.

I really thought I wouldn't have to use acne medicine by now.

I really thought birthdays would bother me more, but really, they don't.  Much.

I'm scheduling this post because I'm planning on having an entirely self-indulgent birthday, full of nothing but reading my latest acquisitions from the library (including one Jane Green -- thanks to a suggestion from Handbags & Handguns), a tall glass of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and hopefully some cake later.  And several choruses of "Happy Birthday", because that's something my mom, sister and I carried over from my Granny -- calling early to sing "Happy Birthday".  But since y'all don't get the pleasure of hearing that (or The Husband and my beautiful girls singing it), I thought I'd give you these:

Who doesn't love some Farmer Ted?!

Many a young night was spent wishing they would sing this to me...

Listen carefully -- they are actually singing to a Vanessa.  (It wasn't me.  Promise.)

And I also want to wish a 
Happy Birthday to The Feminist Housewife
Hope your day is fabulous!

To the rest of you, HAPPY TUESDAY!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Where did I put that flux capacitor?

Thanks to that little letter to the 1986 version of myself last week, I've had Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" stuck in my head.  As well as a mental image of her in the outfit she wore in the video.  I hope you will now have those things burned in your brain as well, because I hate suffering alone.

But I've also been thinking a lot about a couple of things I've heard regarding that post... Mostly along the lines of, "but if you didn't go through , then you wouldn't be the same person."

...Is that really a bad thing?

Don't get me wrong, I like me.  Sometimes I even love me.  And I know I learned a lot from my mistakes.  But let's think about what I learned.

From Butthead #1, a.k.a. The Ex-Husband, I learned:
  • That someone downing Nyquil every night does not indicate bad allergies.
  • How terrifying it is to be riding with someone driving under the influence.
What an alcoholic looks like.
  • How to convince AT&T to clear charges for calls to 900 numbers.
  • That adult stores and websites aren't always obvious on a bank statement.
What an addiction to pornography looks like.
  • That there was a reason I didn't like hearing about that girl at the office.
  • How it feels to confront The Other Woman.
What an affair looks like.

And what lessons did the relationship with Butthead #2, The Ex-Boyfriend offer? With him I learned:
  • How to take a punch.
  • That Lifetime movies aren't as funny when you're living one.
  • Mean boys don't wear signs, and they can be smart, educated, attractive and kind.
I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that these are all things I didn't need to know.  And why do I know these things?  Because I made poor choices.  If I had a nickel for every red flag that went up during the course of those relationships, or even for how many people warned me against getting into them in the first place, The Husband wouldn't have to work.

And how would I be different had I never been involved with them?  Well, for starters I would have finished college.  I wouldn't have hurt my family and friends.  I wouldn't have had as much baggage to bring into the marriage I should have waited for.

So.  To recap, I live my life with a few regrets.  That which didn't kill me did make me stronger, but I don't think I needed to put myself through all those workouts.  Especially since The Husband and I both think the chances of us meeting without those detours were still pretty darn good.

But don't cry for me, Argentina.  I made my bed and I laid in it.  Nobody's perfect, I'm forgiven, and thankfully God's mercies are new every morning.  So that means even when I screw up now (yes! it does happen!) He still loves me and wants to get me on the right path, and He'll help me get there.

So yeah, I'd still go back and try to talk an earlier version of myself out of the mistakes.  But since, you know, I CAN'T, I will be content with what I have and where I am and be thankful that I made it this far!

What about you?  Would you try to talk a former version of yourself out of anything?  Or do you think it all was for the greater good?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Special Feature: Kissy Face

Man!  Do you know what I've learned from reading blogs the past few days?  There are some Valentine's Day HATERS out there!  But whether you like it or not, it's still going to be recognized because enough people are going to go out and buy cards and jewelry and other lovely things just for that day.  And remember, for some, maybe that is the only day their significant other makes an effort!  Maybe some thank their lucky stars for Hallmark reminding the man or woman in their lives to tell them that they are loved!

Or maybe it's all just a bunch of mushy gushy propaganda.  I don't know, I really just like saying propaganda.

And.  I love getting gifts.

But, in honor of this day of love, I thought I would post.  I mean, a lot of you aren't doing anything special anyway, so I thought I'd give you something to keep busy with, so I offer to you...

The Worst Movie Kiss
The Husband and I actually watched this movie on our second date.  We were at his parents' house, sitting on opposite ends of the couch.  I remember when I saw the kiss, I actually said, "Ouch!"  And then, "Awwww," because I felt bad for Sean Connery when he busted their cheating butts!  So, because it looks like the kiss actually hurt in two totally different ways, I hereby proclaim this kiss to be THE WORST MOVIE KISS.

The Best Movie Kiss
In a pre-marital counseling session, future brides and grooms should be made to watch this.  There is such a thing as church tongue, and it should be utilized.  I don't care if you are both pure as the driven snow and you're all excited about the upcoming honeymoon, you'll have the whole night together.  Tonsil hockey doesn't make people say, "Awwww" it makes them say, "Ewwww."  I always, always turn away when the couples kiss at weddings, because I fear seeing tongue.  So, THE BEST MOVIE KISS goes to Drew and Adam.

And, just because I'm so generous, I went back to the depths of my mind the archives of my blog on WordPress and found this excerpt, originally posted in October of 2008...
Do you remember your first kiss?
I do. I have to say, I don’t remember any details about any kisses between my first kiss ever and my first kiss with The Husband. (No offense to any guys I kissed, but c’mon. Nobody holds a candle to The Husband.) As for remembering my first kiss ever… Let’s just say if I did forget about it altogether, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
In 7th grade I started wearing contacts, which I thought would solve all of the problems in the world. Or at least in mine. I definitely thought losing the glasses would mean getting a boyfriend, and my misguided teenage mind thought that attention from any boy was acceptable. So I became the girlfriend of a young man we’ll call The Worst Kisser Ever. (That’s not his real name.)
One night on the phone, he asked me what I would do if he French kissed me. I told him I would probably run away. The next day, in the middle of the lunchroom, he tested me. People were getting up from tables ready to go to class, and all of a sudden there he was. It happened in slow motion. His eyes were closed, he was leaning closer and closer. This was it. My first kiss.

Yeah, ow.
You see, The Worst Kisser Ever had not been introduced to orthodontia yet, and his eye teeth were quite vampire-like and dominated his mouth. So, ow.
True to my word, I bolted. Yet, that did not dissuade The Worst Kisser Ever from his very public displays of affection. I was awkward and naive, and I had no idea what to do. He kept on kissing me and being bad at it, and I kept on enduring it and being embarrassed because everyone could see.
There is only one word to describe that very brief courtship. Bleah.
So there ya go.  Happy Valentine's Day from me to you, even da haters!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Note to Self: Skinny Edition

  • First, let it be known that that is not a picture of your mid-section.
  • Those jeans are cute, though.
  • You've noticed a lot, a LOT, of the blogs you read are talking about losing weight.
  • You lost weight.
  • You might have some insight for them regarding the process.
  • For instance, you've read about people looking at pictures of themselves, and wondering how they got bigger than they wanted to be.
  • You know about this.
  • You have those pictures, and no one told you when you were getting heavier.
  • Except Granny -- she was the only one brave enough to say: "Vanessa, you're getting fat."
  • Unfortunately, it didn't really bring about change.
  • It didn't hurt your feelings, either, because you knew Granny, but you don't think there's any way for anyone else to say something like that without it being incredibly insulting.
  • You might want to let those that are losing weight know that they will never have that problem again.
  • Because everyone will have something to say about their weight loss.
  • Sometimes it's genuinely complimentary.
  • Other times it's, "Oh my gosh! You look great!" through gritted teeth.
  • And sometimes it's, "You're too skinny!"
  • Sometimes, when you're out with friends and you're losing or have lost weight, people will roll their eyes if you turn down something yummy.
  • You wonder if they realize it was moderation and self-control that assisted in the actual weight loss or the maintenance of it.
  • It's all worth it though.
  • You feel better.
  • You're more active.
  • You feel more attractive.
  • Your self-esteem improves.
  • Other things improve because of feeling more attractive and improved self-esteem.
  • Other things that increased energy and stamina can benefit from.
  • Tell Kim and Winn to relax, you're not going to say sex.
  • Oops.
Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Speak in short sentences. Use small words.

It has come to my attention through the years that men (yes, as a matter of fact I am making a broad generalization) don't take hints very well at all.  So The Husband usually doesn't have any problem knowing what I want for any gift-giving occasion, because I give it to him straight.  Sometimes he still does his own thing, though, and I'm okay with that.  Because he gives pretty awesome gifts. 

But a few weeks ago I saw something I really liked, and I simply forwarded The Husband a link, and I even included my size in case he agreed that it would make a good gift for me.  I checked the mail today, and apparently he did.

I saw that the package addressed to The Husband was from Union28, so I was pretty sure it was for me.  I was hoping he didn't intend it to be a surprise since he had it shipped to the house and I always check the mail, but I called him at work to make sure I could open it, just to be safe!  He told me I could, and said, "Happy ... Well, pick one." 

So that "I love my Husband" t-shirt is officially my Valentine's present.

Although, as aware as I am that hinting usually doesn't work, sometimes I catch myself being a little too subtle...

SUBTLE ATTEMPT: "Oh, you don't like it when I go for morning walks because my alarm wakes you up 45 minutes before you have to be up?  You know, I can really understand that.  You do need your sleep, Baby.  If only there was some way I could exercise regularly in the house... If only there was something I could use at home on days when both girls are at school, or even napping... Man.  What a dilemma!"

HIS RESPONSE: *picks up remote*  *Turns to ExerciseTV on Demand

SUBTLE ATTEMPT:  "Remember those earrings I got Stepsister for Christmas one year?  Or her birthday?  They were so pretty.  So, so pretty.  I was thinking about that because I saw some just like them at Kohl's, you know.  14 karat gold over sterling silver.  They're CZ stones, too, so they're not that expensive, especially since I think they were 60% off.  They're so pretty.  So, so pretty.  Oh, look at this e-mail from Kohl's!  15% of everything!  How nice..."

HIS RESPONSE: *stands up*  *goes to bedroom*  *opens jewelry box received two Christmas ago, the one that stands taller than the 3-year-old* *starts counting pairs of earrings already there*

Oh well.  You can't blame a girl for trying.

Besides, as much as I love getting gifts from him, I know that between God and The Husband, all of my needs are more than met.  And, as unworthy of it as I may be, many, many of my wants have been covered too.  So if I were to never get a gift again, I'd still be set.

Cheesy, but true.

How about you?  Do you try the subtle approach?  Or have there been any hits and huge misses with gifts from loved ones?  Spill it!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Someone's going to be squeaky clean!

It's time to announce the winner of My High Maintenance Giveaway, with awesome gifts courtesy of Dee at Barefoot Bath & Body.  Drum roll, please!

Thank you!

And the winner is...

Princess Christy said...
I'm a google follower!
February 1, 2010 8:17 PM
Congratulations, Christy!  I'll be sending you an e-mail too, and then I need you to send me your contact info within 48 hours so Dee can send you your goodies!  Hooray!!
If you didn't win, I hope that you will be able to continue washing with your Ivory, Dove, or Lever 2000...  Or, you could head to Dee's shop again and purchase the item you listed as your favorite!  Heck, I need to do that!
Thank you all for entering -- I was blown away by the response!  I do hope you'll come back to visit (comment) again, even if all you get is an e-mail from me!  (I'll be thinking clean, good-smelling thoughts when I send it, though, I promise!)
And a very, very BIG THANK YOU to Dee for doing this giveaway!  I am happy to have had the opportunity to use something you made and to be able to give others a chance to try it as well!  You're awesome!
Happy Hump Day, everyone!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Dear Vanessa Circa 1986

Well, my birthday is next week.  I've seen this done a couple of times (recently, actually, because clearly many fabulous people were born in February), so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon.  Oh, to be able and go back and talk to Little Vanessa...

Dear Vanessa Circa 1986,

Hey there, it's me.  Actually, it's you.  I'm you at 33, almost 34.  I know, you think that's old.  You'll just have to trust me, it's not.  Seriously. 

Okay, whatever.  I'm old.  Let it go.

I just wanted to drop you a line and give you some tips for your future, 'kay?  I think you could use a little help.  Why don't you sit down and get comfortable, and let me school you on a little thing I like to call life.

I'm going to be blunt here.  You're a nerd.  I know you know that deep down inside, but you just need to own it.  Try to change your perspective, though.  You're not just a nerd, you're a bad-A-double-dollar-sign intellectual.  Life will be easier if you just accept it and not try to dumb yourself down.  The people you're trying to impress, boys and girls alike, aren't worth it.  You'll feel much better about yourself in the long run if you just keep applying yourself.

I know, I know.  I sound like our mom.  As it turns out, she's a freaking genius and she is always right.  Remember that, too.

Also.  Not that it's a big deal or anything, but we're kind of cute.  You can be cute and smart.  And funny sometimes, too.  Triple threat.

Now, as for boys.  For the next ten years or so, they're just BOYS and not as great as you seem to think they are.  You'll meet some decent ones in high school, but for the most part you'd be better off figuring out what you want to be when you grow up instead of imagining what your husband's going to be like.  Focus on school.  Finish college.  Get a job.  You know how you thought it was so cool that Barbie could be anything she wanted?  You can too.  (P.S. Barbie dumps Ken.)

And FYI, that little sister of yours?  Believe it or not, she's going to have amazingly accurate Butthead Radar.  If she says a guy is a creep, the guy is a creep.  Get rid of him, and get rid of him fast. 

And I know this is going to come as a shock, but that little sister of yours is going to be one of your very best friends. 

Let's see... Anything else... Oh, when you make it to the county spelling bee in 7th grade, ask for the word in a sentence.  Otherwise, you go out in the first round.  Ask for the word in a sentence.

I think that about covers it. 

I actually need to get going, because I know I need to write Vanessa Circa 1996.  I have a feeling that's going to be a much, much longer letter. 

Love your family.  Do well in school. Treasure your friends and let go of those that don't treasure you.  Try a couple of vegetables now and then.  Don't forget to thank your gifted teacher for bringing you to church.

Be good.

Vanessa Circa 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Daisies really ARE the friendliest flower!

Thanks to Robin, I have another award to gratefully accept and then pass on!  This one is The Sunshine Award, isn't that sweet?  The only thing is, I hopped over to my blog roll and tried to pick a few blogs to give this to.  5 blogs became 10, which quickly became 15, and then the number just kept going up.  Because, really and truly, those blogs bring some sunshine into my day regularly and trying to choose just a few is extremely difficult!  So I'm totally copping out and passing this along to some folks who have been with me since the early days of my blogging life.  It is also going to the people on my blog roll.  There will even be a song dedication afterwards, because going to YouTube and looking up songs is almost as fun as seeing I have 176 new posts in my Google Reader.

You are the sunshine of my (blogging) life:

And because 'tis better to give than to receive, and because I really think my LMBOPMP Award is hilarious, and because Kim's last post almost made me choke on a Nutter Butter Bite, I hope you will go check out why "Writhing on Floor Eating Carpet Fibers Gets You the Cord You Need".  If you blog, work at home, or if your friends live in the computer, I highly recommend that you read her harrowing true story.  I would not recommend eating Nutter Butter Bites while you read it, though.  Nor would I recommend reading it if you have a full bladder, hence the award.

Hope you have a Happy Monday!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Note to Self: 4 8 15 16 23 42 Edition

  • You need to stop thinking about LOST.
  • Don't try to understand it.
  • Just enjoy the ride.
  • You need to stop wondering why Sawyer never took his shirt off during the entire. season. premiere.
  • He was digging a grave, for Pete's sake.
  • It was hot.
  • You almost shouted at the TV.
  • The Husband would not have understood that type of outburst.
  • Thank goodness for Twitter.
  • You were able to commiserate with someone who understood your pain.
  • You know someone else who will be feeling your pain at the season's end.
  • Start looking for another show to watch.
  • Unless they end the series with a cliffhanger, only to be answered in a movie.
  • Don't even front, you know you'll watch the movie.
  • Shhhh, stop laughing at yourself for typing "Don't even front".
  • That was pretty funny, though.
  • But not quite as funny as this:

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I bet I could fit in the suitcase!

The Husband is a smarty pants.  He is a smarty pants and he is a quick study.  Because of this, some people at his company thought he would be excellent at training others on something new they've taken on.  They were right.  He is so excellent at it, that they decided to send him to another state to help train employees there as well.  So about once a month, he heads to the great state of Texas to do some training.

Of course I miss him when he's gone, and of course I would rather him be home, but he has a job and I realize how incredibly wonderful that is, so I really can't fuss about him having to go out of town for work.  I pout for about five seconds and then let it go.  And while he's gone, I enjoy every second of that time after the girls go to bed that I have to myself.  Well, except during the seconds I'm missing him.  Or the seconds when I know I should be going to bed but I just can't make myself get up off the couch because I'm listening to every noise I never heard before and swearing that the refrigerator is haunted.  But seriously, most of the time I enjoy that time to myself the best I can. 

One time The Husband's work sent him to California to be trained on something.  Obviously someone in his company knew that The Husband had a lovely wife who had never been to California, and that if he went there in the summer when school was out and Grandma was able to watch the girls, that lovely wife could go with The Husband on this trip.  And she did.  I spent a kid-free week in California.  Other than almost ending up in Mexico when trying to get to Seaport Village, I had the best. time. ever.

So when I found out that The Husband was going to be traveling kind of regularly, I asked him when I was going to join him.

He totally did not get why I would want to come!  I mean, other than not wanting to be apart from him for that long, he totally got that.  But otherwise, he was baffled.  "Why would you want to come?" he asked.  "I'll be at work all day and we can't afford to do much at night.  What would you do?"

What would I do?  What would I do?!  The question really isn't, "What would I do?" as much as "What would I NOT do?"

I would NOT wake up to an alarm.  I would NOT rush in the shower.    I would NOT think about laundry.  I would NOT think about dishes.  I would NOT have to vacuum.  I would NOT change any diapers.  I would NOT think about what to make for dinner.  I would NOT be concerned about anyone walking in on me and The Husband making out on the couch.  I would NOT watch Noggin.   

I don't think I'd even care if I stayed in the hotel all day every day.  I could live out that ridiculous stereotype of the stay at home mom, and just sit in front of the TV watching soap operas and eating Bon Bons.  (Hey moms, have any of you actually had a Bon Bon before?  I haven't, and I wondered if I was missing out on some rite of passage...)  Even if I'm in some hole in the middle of nowhere, the hotel is bound to have a pool, and I can put on my bathing suit that covers the sharpei puppy look on my tummy and hides the stretch marks on my legs and lounge out in the sun in a chair under some shade and READ!

I think I need times like that once in a while, to get rested, relaxed, to get recharged.  I appreciate any time I get to myself, and I know I come back to the house feeling a little lighter on my feet and ready to get back into the swing of things.  And you know that saying, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"  Well, when mama is happy, and content, and refreshed, I think the rest of the house can feel it too.

Do you find time to enjoy yourself?  Do you think it's important?  (If you're thinking it's too good to be true, maybe head over to Theta Mom to check out her Time Out for Theta Month Thursday -- she's does that on the last Thursday of the month.  See what she has to say, and what other moms are doing for themselves, with just one hour each month.)  Or, dare I ask, do you think it's selfish to try to have some "me time"?  *biting nails*

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Sometimes I think my estrogen chip malfunctions.

Some days I wonder if someone is going to come along and revoke my membership to The Woman's Club.  There are some things that it seems sooooo many women are into, but I'm just... not.

For instance, all things Nicholas Sparks.  His books, and movies based on his books.  Why would I want to read a book or go to a movie that's going to make me cry??  Why?  I want to read books and go to movies to escape!  To a happy place!  Not to a place where you need to bring along a box of Kleenex!  Or where the leading man is professing his undying devotion in five-minute monologues!  That's not romance -- that's comedy!

I also haven't enjoyed Jane Austen novels, either.  I tried to read Pride and Prejudice, I promise, I TRIED!  But I just couldn't plow through it.  On that note, I also felt like I needed an interpreter when I went to see Becoming Jane.

Don't get me wrong, though, I do like chick flicks.  I just like the kind that include humor, awkwardness and sarcasm.  And usually Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts.  And I do love to read, I just like it to be light and fun -- like Sophie Kinsella or Jennifer Weiner.  Or maybe even Lisa Scottoline, who is like the female version of John Grisham.  But Scottoline also has a book out that I REALLY want to read -- Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog.  You want to read it too, now, don't you?  I really want that book.  (It's really my birthday this month, too.  Just sayin'.)

Anyway.  That's one thing. I don't rush to see chick flicks or to read books that look like they're going to make me cry or if there's going to be kissing in the rain.  (The only time I thought that was hot was in Spider-Man.) 

I also don't like going to get manicures or pedicures.  First of all, I'm cheap frugal.  Why pay for it when I can do it myself?  Secondly, I am so very uncomfortable with the process, particularly the pedicure.  I'm tense and fidgety and I'm convinced the person working on my feet talks about them as soon as I walk out the door.  Or maybe while they're working on them, because I wouldn't know any better. 

So.  No mushy-gushy chick flicks or novels for me, and no mani-pedis.

I enjoy shopping when I have money for something I need.  I don't so much like going to browse, window shop, etc.  I am more of a hunter.  I am also notorious for selecting something, walking around with it, then changing my mind because it just isn't practical (even though it's the cutest little top/skirt/dress I've ever seen and I look totally awesome in it), and leaving it elsewhere in the store.  Which explains that time you found a bra in the shoe department.

I also haven't developed a love for cooking or crafting.  I'm learning to cook because I know I need to -- and while I do like how I feel after I've finished making a meal, I just don't look forward to making it.  That kind of reminds me of sex -- because sometimes you're kind of just doing it because you feel like you have to, but then once you've done it you are sooooo glad you did.  (For the record, though, I typically look forward to it.  Which is another thing that has sometimes left me feeling like the cheese standing alone among my girlfriends.)

As for all things crafty, I can't even sew a button.  When I was in junior high and took Home Economics, a boy in the class sewed my button on the fabric for me.  Any time I've needed any buttons sewn or stuffed animals repaired, there's been a mom, mother-in-law or a friend who's helped.  I think that's called enabling.

I like having my hair done -- but "done" to me is having it cut and maybe dried.  I've been known to dry my own hair in the salon, though.  Apparently I can only handle so much pampering.  Or maybe I have a thing about people touching me for too long or too much.  Or in the wrong places.

Oh well.  What I lack in femininity in the form of books, movies, pampering, cooking and crafting, I make up in spades with my love of jewelry, makeup and shoes. 

And mood swings.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Super Man of the Month!

I have loved hearing why you think your husbands should be the Super Man of the Month!  It is so encouraging to read about the wonderful things your men are doing for you and your families!  KEEP THEM COMING!

Our Super Man of the Month for February is...


Beau and his lovely wife, Kellie, are actually friends of mine, they're like family to me and The Husband!  And I have the distinct pleasure of having been present at the very beginning of their sweet relationship!  (Kellie, you knew I was going to mention it!)  They also have a precious son who is the light of their lives!  And here is what Kellie had to say about her Super Man:

I know I do not brag on my husband as much as I should, but he is the most AWESOME man in the world and you want to know why?

How many men would stay up with a newborn all night and rock him and feed him and rub him on the back just so I could get some sleep?  Does he think I have to get up in 3 hours to go to work? NO, it matters more to him that his new son and wife are taken care of and both get the rest that he thinks we deserve.

He takes care of us with his 9 to 5 job every day and doesn't ask for a thank you. He does it because he wants to and because he is the best husband in the world. He finds time to fix things around the house, keeps our computers running good, helps me around the house, plays with Ethan and even finds some time to spend with me before the night is done before getting up the next morning and starting all over again. That's my husband!
Congratulations to Beau and Kellie!  To Beau for being such a super man, and to Kellie for being smart enough to snag him!  Check your mail in the next couple of days, I'm sending you a little teeny tiny prize in the form of a $10 gift card for Starbucks, so you can take Beau out and tell him how awesome he is over a cup of coffee! 

So, how 'bout it?  Do we have more Super Men out there that you want to talk about?  Drop me a line at baptistness(at)gmail(dot)com and tell me all about him!

Monday, February 1, 2010

My High Maintenance Giveaway


When The Husband and I moved into our house, we got some very sweet and special housewarming gifts. One of those gifts was from Winn, and in it she included a handmade shaving bar from Dee of Barefoot Bath & Body. Now, I am admittedly high maintenance and I shave my legs every day. Yes, every day. I cannot stand pricklies. I've always used regular ol' shaving gel, but I knew Winn knows her stuff, and if she gave me this shaving bar, it was going to be good.

And good it was! First and foremost, it smelled good. Secondly, and more importantly, it made my legs feel gooooood! SO soft and smooth! And it made them feel gooooood for a quite some time, because that bar lasted me a while -- and, my friends, I used it every day. I used it until it became little crumbly pieces in my hands, and then I used the pieces until they dissolved in my hands or against my legs. And then I cried.

Since I was a fan of Barefoot Bath & Body on Facebook, I managed to get in touch with Dee to tell her how much I loved her product. And I told her I would love to do a giveaway for her. And guess what... Sweet, sweet Dee said she'd do a giveaway with me in February, and she even let me select THREE items that you can win!

I picked two bars of soap -- Cherry Bomb Shea Butter Hot Process Soap and Dreams Shea Butter Hot Process Soap. I also chose a solid perfume, Bare Naked.  (And yes, it was largely for its name.)

I am already jealous of the winner!

Here's how to enter, please use a separate comment for each:

  • Mandatory for 1 Entry: Go to the Barefoot Bath & Body shop at Etsy and then come back and tell me which of her items you think you'd like to try!
  • 1 entry: Follow me on Google Friend Connect and let me know, or tell me you already do.
  • 1 entry: Follow Dee's blog for another entry, or tell me if you're already a follower.
  • 1 entry: Follow me on Twitter, or tell me you already are, and link me to your Twitter.
  • 1 entry: Tweet the giveaway (please include @baptistness), and link me to the tweet.
  • 3 entries: Blog about the giveaway, and comment with the link to your post.

  • 5 entries: Buy something from Dee's shop during the giveaway, let me know you did, and tell me what you bought!
This giveaway starts NOW and the winner will be announced on Wednesday, February 10, 2010. I will e-mail the winner (so don't forget to leave me a way to contact you!), and they will have 48 hours to respond with their info so Dee can send their prizes!

And if after all of that you're still feeling a little dirty, take a quick click to the blogs of Kearsie and Kim, because they are also doing handmade soap giveaways!  If cleanliness really is next to godliness, our blogs will have you knocking on heaven's door!